I’ve had a couple of things I wanted to share with you guys this week, and hopefully I’ll get around to doing so over the course of the next week, but this is my life right now:

It is not a pretty sight. I went to the library again this evening and took out another eight or nine books for my essay, even though I’ve yet to find time to read some of the ones already on my desk (and you can’t even see the bookshelf in this photo) which are mostly for my Creative Writing journal which is an ongoing project due in January. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by my workload right now, particularly the amount of reading I have to do. I mean, I love reading, but this… not so much! A lot of it is in Middle English too, as I’m taking a module on medieval literature this term, and so this is an additional barrier to speed.

On top of this, I’ve not had a very good week overall really due to a couple of bits of not-so-good news:

1. I haven’t yet mentioned it on this blog, but I’ve been looking very seriously at my options for studying abroad for a year in North America. I really feel like I could do with a challenge. That’s not to say university isn’t a challenge, but I want a different kind of challenge; I want to upend myself and push myself into having to cope. It’s more of a personal challenge than anything else, and one that I was hoping would help me increase my independence on a much larger scale, increase my confidence, and fulfill my fascination for the differences in culture (or further fuel them).

Anyway, it’s looking like I won’t be able to fund the trip for a number of reasons. I’m working on trying to find out if there are any options, because I don’t give up that easily, but I’m most likely going to have to face the fact that I won’t be able to go. It sounds so selfish, and I hate myself for feeling upset about it when I’m privileged to even have an education as it is, but I’d sort of set my heart on going, and so it’s hard to set myself up for disappointment now.

2. My sister was going to come and visit me this weekend, but now she’s not coming because she’s so busy, and there’s a lot of illness going around university at the moment. It’s silly really, but I was really looking forward to it as we don’t get to spend much time together anymore, even though we’re so close in age. We have a bit of a love/hate relationship, as most siblings do, but I know I can depend on her. I just miss her. I miss all my family.

3. I was let down by a job. I won’t go into details, because it’s the internet and all, but a few weeks ago I was emailed following a job interview saying they would be offering me hours from 12th November. I chased this up a couple of times, but I got an email last night saying that they won’t be hiring after all. Nothing I can do, really.

Anyway, it’s just been one of those weeks. I hope you’re all having a better time of things than I am this week!